Why You Can't Help Your Addict with Acts of Love

Why Can’t You “Help” Your Addict With Love

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Why Can’t You “Help” Your Addict With Love

10 March, 2020Articles, News

Have you often wondered how you going to cope with a drunk mother or high spouse over a special gathering, or how can you help them not be drunk or high?

This is an all to common occurrence in people who have a significant other in active addiction or alcoholism, and you may find yourself deeply affected by these experiences, leaving you feeling frustrated and filled with despair as you repeatedly try to stop or help your addict or alcoholic, when it is actually the addict or alcoholic that should be feeling this despair.

These common acts of love to protect your addict or alcoholic may cause more harm than help.

Blaming Yourself

It is typical behaviour for your addict or alcoholic to blame their drinking or using on circumstances or others around them -often the one’s closest to them. You may tend to believe that if only you change certain things their behaviour will change.

Honestly the addict or alcoholic will drink or use no matter what you say or do, and it is not your fault. Once they become dependent, nothing is going to get between them and their substance of choice. This is often a difficult truth to face and a lot of time and energy is spent trying to avoid this reality.

Taking It Personally

Another typical behaviour of an addict or alcoholic is to promise that they will never drink or use substances again, and in no time they are back to drinking or using and lying and manipulating and you find yourself thinking “If they really loved me they would not be doing this.”

The truth is that your alcoholic or addicts brain chemistry has changed, to the point that they are unable to make healthy choices, and are unable to control their own decision-making. However, you are so wrought with the destruction to your relationship that it difficult to not take it personally when you are unable to understand the change in your loved one.

Try To Control It

Attempting to control your addicts or alcoholics drinking and abuse of substances to the point that you would go to any lengths to get them to stop, leaves you feeling lonely and frustrated as you keep telling yourself “surely there is something I can do.”

The reality is that not even the alcoholic or addict can control their drinking or using and the same applies to you – you cannot control their behaviour nor can you control the consequences of their behaviour.

Stopping / Avoiding The Crisis

Loving an addict or alcoholic is very difficult. It is very difficult to let a crisis happen or play out. Often when the addict or alcoholic reaches the point of getting into trouble with the law or losing a job, the best thing to do is nothing. This may feel to be an impossible action to take -it may feel as if it is going against everything you believe in.

The reality is that by allowing the crises to happen, this may be a way for your addict or alcoholic to get to a point of wanting to change.

Trying To Cure It

Alcoholism or addiction is a primary, chronic and progressive disease that can be fatal.

If you love someone who suffers from the disease of addiction, they will need professional treatment to get healthy again.

Again, this is no different from any other disease.

Alcoholics and addicts go through stages before they are ready to make a change or face the reality that they need help, and anything you do to try change this or make them quit will be met with resistance.

Covering It Up

Sometimes the addict or alcoholic does not want anyone to know the extent of their drinking or substance abuse as then others may want to intervene. Often, you are trying to “help” your addict or alcoholic by covering up or making excuses for their behaviour because you also feel embarrassed or you may be trying to save your addict or alcoholic.

The truth is that you are enabling your addict or alcoholic to continue their behaviour and the best way to deal with this is to be open and honest regarding your addict or alcoholics actions.

Accepting Unacceptable Behaviour

This often starts off with a minor event that would be easy to “brush off”, however, little by little this behaviour gets worse and you slowly begin to accept more and more unacceptable behaviour.

Before you know it, you are unable to uphold any boundaries. You feel manipulated and confused as well as frustrated and lost. You will try anything for this behaviour to change, except uphold your boundaries or walk away from unacceptable behaviour which is often what your addict or alcoholic needs in order to become willing to seek help and change.

Having Unreasonable Expectations

When dealing with your addict or alcoholic, often what seems reasonable to you may appear completely unreasonable to your addict or alcoholic. The alcoholic or addict will frequently promise you or themselves that they are done and will not touch the substance again, and you believe that this is true.

This is a very unreasonable expectation; it is not possible to expect them to be honest with you, if they can not be honest with themselves.

There will be times when you have felt confused because your addict or alcoholic has been able to be honest or been able to meet commitments in other areas of their life- why are they not able to apply the same with their drinking and substance use? Remember you are dealing with a disease.

Enabling

Frequently, the belief that you are helping your addict or alcoholic, is something that enables them to continue along their destructive path. You are forgetting that you are dealing with a progressive disease.

Helping your addict or alcoholic, for instance, who has passed out in the garden, you help them into bed. This action has not allowed your addict or alcoholic to face their own consequences – waking up outside, coming in to face the family.

Not letting them feel the pain of their actions, is not helping your addict or alcoholic and again, it is very challenging for you to not fall into the role of enabling the addict or alcoholic in your life, as this may seem like such a loveless act on your behalf.

Loving an addict or alcoholic in active addiction is exhausting and devastating. Relationships are filled with manipulation, guilt and destruction. Trying to avoid or change these painful events is a natural reaction which is only enabling your addict and alcoholic and serves little help in getting your addict or alcoholic to a place where they want to change.

Doing all these things in the hope that your addict or alcoholics insanity, guilt trips, lying and manipulation will stop- will not happen as long as there is no reason for your addict or alcoholic to seek help and change.

Remember, when addiction has taken hold of your loved one, the person you love disappears. That person is still in there somewhere, but that is not the person you are dealing with now. Addiction is a disease that not only affects the addict but the family as well.

Your loved one is in the grip of this disease and like any other disease, they need professional help in order to change.

As powerless as your addict or alcoholic is, is as powerless as what you are and the only chance of change is for your addict or alcoholic to see and feel their reality.

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The Symptoms of Cat Drug Overdose

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Home / Posts tagged "jhb rehab" (Page 25)

The Symptoms of Cat Drug Overdose

28 February, 2020Articles, News

What is the Cat Drug?

“Cat” as we know it in South Africa, takes the form of an off-white powder that is more commonly injested nasally. The active ingredient in cat is a synthetic compound that mimics the natural chemicals in the khat plant. Cat as we encounter it in South Africa is an amphetamine. This article rather deals with the plant, khat.

“Kat,”or “khat,” falls into the stimulant class of drugs. It is derived from the leaves of a shrub that grows wildly in parts of East Africa. The chewing of the plant is part of an East African tradition that dates back thousands of years. It is most commonly chewed as dry leaves but in other parts of the world, it is smoked in the same way that marijuana is smoked. It can also be snorted or in rare cases, injected. Khat is often mistaken for marijuana as it is similar in appearance. Khat leaves are green or greenish-brown and are often packed together in a bundle that’s wrapped in banana leaves. The leaves of the plant are sometimes used to make tea, although the effects of drinking khat-infused tea are less potent.

What Effect Does Khat Use Have on the Body?

Side effects of khat-use include elevated blood pressure, elevated heart rate, increased respiration and dilated pupils. This is because as a stimulant, the drug produces a sense of euphoria and hyper-awareness. Users may become more talkative, alert and confident. The drug has a profound effect on the central nervous system as well as the gastro-intestinal-, cardiovascular-, respiratory-, endocrine- and genito-urinary systems.

Khat Drug Overdose Symptoms:

Although it is possible to overdose on khat, it is not an occurrence that happens often, and currently, it is not a topic that is well understood in the medical community. Khat drug overdose symptoms – also known as Khat toxicity – includes delusions, appetite loss and respiratory problems. Some of the most common drug overdose symptoms are liver damage and heart problems because of the pressure that the use of stimulants place on the body and specifically, the central nervous system. Furthermore, evidence shows that people who are predisposed to mental health issues like depression and anxiety can be negatively affected by the abuse of this drug. In East Africa, chewing khat has been linked to the development of oral cancer as well as other related forms of cancer like lung cancer and stomach cancer. The majority of khat abusers report that lethargy, depression and nightmares are common side effects of withdrawal. There are also important mental and emotional side effects to consider as one of the overdose symptoms. Dependence on the drug is both physical and mental. Users may become increasingly withdrawn from the world around them and aggressive when they come down from the high that the plant produces. The long terms effects should not be underestimated.

If you or a loved one is in search of help for substance abuse, know that help is readily available. Contact us for a free consultation and we’ll support you in your journey.

Sources:

Verywellmind.com