What is codependency?

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What is codependency?

21 June, 2019Articles, News

Codependency is defined as: an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction. It affects an individual’s capacity to have healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.

Who is affected by codependency?

When growing up in a family where one or both parents are unreliable or unavailable due to mental illness or addiction, a child learns to put the parents’ needs first. In dysfunctional families, feelings are suppressed and problems are avoided. The child’s needs are put below those of the parent. Growing up under these conditions means that these behaviours are likely to be repeated in other relationships.

The enabling wife of the alcoholic husband is a classic example of codependency. Today this has been expanded to a parent, spouse, friend, work colleague, sibling or any person who has a relationship with someone with mental illness or a person who suffers from substance use disorder (SDU), .

What do we see in the codependent?

Codependent individuals believe they share in the responsibility of their partners negative behaviour. They often have low self-esteem and find value and purpose in ensuring the well-being of the unhealthy partner. The codependent compulsively plays the martyr role in the relationship.

He or she holds on to the sense of being needed. There is often denial around the actions of the afflicted partner and around their role in the relationship. This is followed by the need to rescue. There is an unhealthy, over-reliance on the relationship and a deep need to hold on to it to avoid feelings of failure or abandonment.

The hallmarks of a codependent relationship include: poor communication, a lack of boundaries, a deep need for approval and validation, persistent anger, dishonesty and a need to control.

What can we do about codependency?

There is hope for the codependent and that hope comes from understanding. By understanding the unhealthy behaviour and its consequences, they are able to make the necessary changes. Addiction extends into relationships and it is important that family members educate themselves and get an understanding of the addiction cycle.

It is vital to investigate childhood issues, the destructive behaviours in relationships past and present as well as to identify emotions and learn to both feel them and express them.

The goals for the codependent in recovery are to have mutually satisfying relationships, avoid the negative behaviour patterns of the past and to learn to identify their own wants and needs. Put boundaries in place and stick to them. Once the process of recovery begins, one will understand that there is no need to hold on to unhealthy/destructive relationships and your happiness is not based on what others think. You are not responsible for the happiness of others.

Sources:

https://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/co-dependency

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/201609/6-signs-codependent-relationship

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The relationship between aggression and addiction

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Home / Posts tagged "12step spirituality"

The relationship between aggression and addiction

31 May, 2019Articles, News

Aggression, in the form of anger, frequently manifests in people with addiction problems. If you do not believe this is true, look to science, which tells us that there is a definite correlation between aggression and addiction. The Psychiatric Times reports, “The tendency to engage in violent behaviour is a potentially important risk factor for suicide in substance abusers.”

Is there a connection between aggression and addiction? How are the two related? Why do they often go hand-in-hand? Can a person get help with both?

The National Institute on Drug Abuse covered a recent study that showed the ties between addiction and aggression. They used mice to show a possible correlation between the disruptions of our brain circuitry that comes from substance use addiction and aggressive behaviour. Seventy percent of the male mice acted aggressively toward smaller mice when exposed to protocols that mirror human addictive behaviour.

Addiction, Aggression, and Healthy Behaviour

People with substance use disorders, whether they are co-occurring with mental illness or not, do not engage in healthy behaviour. The substance they are using inhibits how they deal with emotions, masking them in the pleasurable feelings that come with the drug or alcohol use. But these emotions do not go away and can build up, only to be unleashed when the substance abuser simply cannot bottle them up anymore.
The correlation between substance abuse and violent behaviour has been well documented. For example, the Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment noted that more than 75 percent of people who begin treatment for drug addiction report having performed various acts of violence, including (but not limited to) mugging, physical assault, and using a weapon to attack another person. Examining gender differences, the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs found that before seeking treatment for substance abuse, the rate of violent acts was as high as 72 percent among men and 50 percent among women. People enrolling in treatment were referred by family members because of violent behaviour carried out while under the influence. Furthermore, researchers found that aggression between two people in a romantic or sexual relationship was “associated with heavy drinking episodes and cocaine use.”

Why is there a link between alcohol abuse and violence?

In 2010, Live Science reported the results of a Scandinavian study that found the risk for violent behaviour increases with intoxication, but only among individuals who are prone to suppressing their feelings of anger while they are sober. Testing people who reported that they were prone to burying their angry feelings, researchers observed a 5 percent increase in violent behaviour that followed a 10 percent increase in drinking to the point of getting drunk. People who didn’t work their anger out were more likely to get drunk, and that state of drunkenness was connected to a rise in the chance of engaging in violent behaviour. People who did not suppress their angry feelings did not show a similar association.

The researchers noted that “only a tiny fraction of all drinking events involve violence,” but the likelihood of being violent while drinking appeared to be based on how well people who drink can deal with their anger while they’re sober. Since drinking alcohol can lower inhibitions, increase risky behaviour, and rob people of their self-control, an individual with unreleased rage can act out when sufficiently intoxicated.
For people struggling with addiction, both aggression and substance use can be tackled in drug rehab centres. These facilities are designed to deal with co-occurring illnesses such as mental health and substance use disorders. These healthcare providers can treat the substance use disorder, helping the patient safely go through withdrawal. Then, a variety of behavioural and therapeutic counselling practices can help the patient deal with their underlying emotions.

If you or a loved one needs assistance with substance abuse – know that help is readily available. The road to recovery is not always an easy one but getting yourself or your loved one the best possible care from the team at Crossroads Recovery Centre, provides you with a map to sober, healthy living. No matter how bad things seem, there is hope and it’s only a phone call away. If you or anyone close to you needs help with an addiction to sex, gambling, substances, alcohol or food, please contact us for a free assessment.

Resources

https://www.ridgefieldrecovery.com/blog/aggression-addiction-co-occurring-problems-washington-state/

https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/addiction-and-violence

www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za

+27 012 345 1186 Pretoria

+27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg