#12 Physical & Emotional Comfort

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#12 Physical & Emotional Comfort

10 October, 2018Podcasts, News

The way we approach our physical comfort and the way we approach our emotional comfort are remarkably similar. When things get a bit uncomfortable, we try our very best to avoid them. This can be a surprisingly unhelpful idea.

Comfort Seeking

If we look at the physical side of thing, because emotions can be so hard to work with, we can see certain patterns. If its too cold, we hurry out of the cold and put the heater on. If we feel a tinge of hunger, we eat something. The list is endless and we find ourselves in a kind of homeostasis zone or comfort zone. We become emotionally bent out of shape on many levels just by avoiding anything that would push our limits.

This has the potential to create havoc in our lives and we have little or no idea how to get help. Society doesn’t help either because we’ve all become so focused on finding the easy way out, where often there isn’t one.

Develop Resilience

People adapt in multiple ways but the solution I’m discussing in the podcast, is information outlined in Scott Carney’s book ‘What Doesn’t Kill Us’. Learning how to breath and expose ourselves to the cold is an excellent starting point. In fact, I have found few better. We can learn how to gain a bit of perspective, using mechanisms that have been developed over thousands of years. That are a part of us and easily accessible.

Without giving too much away, I hope you enjoy this podcast.

This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction.

Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information:

dominic@crrc.co.za

www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za

+27 012 345 1186 Pretoria

+27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

No Obligation Addiction Assessment

Book a No Obligation Confidential Assessment at your nearest Treatment Centre Today.

Johannesburg Admissions: +27 74 895 1043

Pretoria Admissions: +27 82 653 3311

Stories of Recovery

The encouragement, love and support from the team at Crossroads allowed me to eventually see that I was worth something - that my life could be turned around and that I could accomplish the things that had long been a forgotten dream.
Oliver VG
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On the last day of my stint at Crossroads I could only express gratitude towards all who works there. A wise councillor once commented on my question when one is ready for rehab by explaining that when one is ready for rehab, rehab is ready for you.
Johan B
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I was lost and my soul was broken until I ended up at Crossroads and was introduced to the Twelve Steps. With the help of their excellent staff and amazing support I have recently been clean for 18 months, I could not have done it without them!
Carla S
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"Just for today I am more than three years in recovery. I have Cross Roads to thank for this wonderful gift. Cross Roads helped me to set a firm foundation in my recovery on which I can continue to build."
Angelique J
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Approved Medical Aids

ENABLING BEHAVIOR IN ADDICTION

Dilemma: “I am the mother of a thirty year old son who is abusing drugs and alcohol. He has been hospitalized and detoxed once and has been through an excellent drug rehab program. However, he quickly relapsed and is again abusing drugs. He has lost his job and is now living with us. What can we do to help him? We love him very much and want to help him. In a family meeting at the rehab they advised us to go to Al- Anon meetings and learn how to cope with this. They also advised that we not give him money and not allow him to live at our home. But, we do not want him in the streets, we love him, want to help him to get better and we worry that something bad could happen if we do not give him money now that he has lost his job.”

Enabling behavior occurs when another person, often a co-dependent helps or encourages the addict to continue using drugs, either directly or indirectly. The definition of enabling is “to accommodate the addicted individual in order to protect them from the full consequences of their drug use.”

TOUGH LOVE

Reach out now, we can help

Refers to the need of the family of the addict to not give in while refusing home and board to the abuser until they get themselves into recovery.

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE ENABLING?

Ignoring the addict’s negative or potentially dangerous behavior

– This behavior can involve anything from overlooking problems to denying that a person even exists.

Difficulty expressing emotions

– Enablers are often unsure how to express their feelings, especially if there are negative repercussions for doing so.

Prioritizing the addict’s needs before his/her own

– While it is natural to want to help loved ones, enabling takes helping a step too far, where the addict has her needs taken care of while the enabler neglects her own.

Acting out of fear

– Since addiction can cause frightening events, the enabler will do whatever it takes to avoid such situations.

Lying to others to cover the addict’s behavior

– An enabler will lie to keep the peace and o present a controlled, calm exterior.

Blaming people or situations other than the addict

– To protect the addicts from the consequences of drug abuse, the enabler might accuse other people of causing drug abuse and experiences.

Resenting the addict

– The result of the above behavior is that the enabler will likely feel angry and hurt.

He/she may act on these feelings by resenting the addict all while continuing to enable the addiction.

HOW TO BREAK THE CYCLE OF ENABLING?

Leave messes as they are

– Leave the addict to clean the messes made during intoxication.

Weigh your options for short- and long-term pain

– Will helping the addict one more time cause more pain in the long run?

Get back to autonomy

– Don’t allow the addict to put you or others in a dangerous situation.

Follow through with plans

– Even if the addict refuses to participate in a planned activity, you should go through with it without them.