{"id":4148,"date":"2019-06-07T12:03:24","date_gmt":"2019-06-07T12:03:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/?p=4148"},"modified":"2019-11-27T11:35:55","modified_gmt":"2019-11-27T11:35:55","slug":"relationships-in-recovery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/relationships-in-recovery\/","title":{"rendered":"Relationships in Recovery"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

Relationships in Recovery<\/h1>Reach out now, we can help<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/header>
Home<\/a> \/ <\/div>

Relationships in Recovery<\/h3>
07 June, 2019<\/span>Articles, News<\/span><\/div>\n

Relationships and addiction<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Living with active addiction creates extraordinary relationship challenges and does considerable damage to significant relationships<\/a>—with partners, parents, children, other family members, and close friends. When you enter recovery, it’s natural to want to repair this damage as soon as possible, and your impulse might be to try to do just that. However, attempting quick fixes is rarely helpful and almost never works well. Often, it can make things worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In terms of the relationships you want to improve, how long did it take to damage them in the ways that you had prior to going commencing recovery? Months? Years? It may not take as long to undo the harm your addiction caused, but it will take time. How many times before have you promised your loved ones that you would change? Create empathy by putting yourself in their position. How many times have you said, “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again”? Perhaps you believed it yourself and genuinely intended to change, but “it” did happen again (and perhaps again, and again).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether you’ve been in recovery previously or this is\nyour first attempt at it, why should they believe you now? How many times have\nyou told them that, this time things will be different? The more often this\nhappened, the harder it will be for the important people in your life to trust\nthat this time really will be different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adjustments in recovery<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Most people experience deep regret, guilt, and shame\nrelated to the harm their use of alcohol and other drugs has caused to the\npeople they care about. Frequently, wanting to “fix” important relationships\nimmediately is based on a desire to alleviate the emotional pain of having hurt\nloved ones. But, pain—both emotional and physical—is an inevitable aspect of\nlife. It is part of being human. The process of recovery requires learning how\nto accept and go through the pain that life brings you. Part of this process is\naccepting that repairing the damage your addiction has done to your relationships\nwill only happen gradually over time—based on what you do rather than what you\nsay. The saying, actions speak louder than words, is especially accurate\nrelated to recovery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It will be helpful to resist the urge to focus on\nfixing your relationships, and keep the focus on making progress in your\nrecovery. As you continue to work on your recovery, over time your\nrelationships are likely to improve. The best way to resolve relationship\nissues is through slow, incremental change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The role of relationships in recovery<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Clearly, supportive relationships provide many\nbenefits. The process of recovery from addiction is supported through\nrelationships and social networks. Recovery support is provided through\ntreatment, services, and community-based programs by behavioural health care\nproviders, peer providers, family members, friends and social networks, the\nfaith community, and people with experience in recovery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, people with addiction are inclined to isolate, effectively cutting themselves off from the health-enhancing effects of social and emotional support. This support becomes even more important in early recovery, when people are struggling to get used to life without using alcohol and other drugs. At this time, developing relationships that provide mutual support and connection is essential. Twelve-step programs<\/a> and other mutual-aid resources help to serve this vital purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While some relationships are based on circumstances\nover which you have little or no control, you do have choices in establishing\nrelationships that provide support and nurture you. Cultivating and maintaining\nsupportive relationships takes time and energy. It requires effort, along with\nthe strength and courage to step outside of one’s comfort zone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part of the growth and healing that frequently occurs in recovery involves learning how, when and with whom to take down the walls and false fronts that people have put up to protect themselves, and begin to allow others to see and get to know the “real” them. Twelve-step programs can offer support and guidance from others who have been through the same kinds of experiences—who have been there and done that—and have learned how to be successful in the face of the challenges of recovery from addiction. To paraphrase some twelve-step literature, through the process of recovery you can transition from a life characterized by taking and being taken to one based on giving and being given.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reviewing your current relationships<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

It is important to take inventory of your current\nrelationships so you can identify those that will help or hinder your progress\ntoward health and healing in recovery. Moreover, consider whether relationships\nthat are not supportive of your priorities deserve your time and energy. If\nsomething doesn’t seem or feel “right,” it’s important to pay attention to that\ngut feeling, be able to communicate about it. Identifying and shedding\nunhealthy or “toxic” relationships is also part of the recovery process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What about new relationships?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

In any close relationship, people share important\naspects of their life experience and who they are. As a result, it’s essential\nto consider sharing the fact that you are in recovery with those people with\nwhom you are or would like to become emotionally close—assuming that they\naren’t already aware of it. But, how do you know when to let others know that\nyou’re in recovery from addiction? Many people have a lot of uncertainty about\ndisclosing their status as a person in recovery in new relationships. Such\nrelationships include new friends, co-workers, and romantic partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Disclosing your recovery status<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

There are different opinions on when and how to\ndisclose your recovery status. Some people believe it’s important to be\ncompletely up front and let others know that you are a person in recovery\nduring your very first encounter. Others take the position that it is best to\nsee how the relationship develops and use that information to determine when to\ndisclose. Although rare, there are some work situations in which a person’s\nrecovery status might possibly be held against him or her. There are certain\nindustries where business is frequently conducted around activities where\nalcohol is served and drinking is customary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ultimately, disclosing your recovery status to others\nis a very personal decision and the timing of it depends on a variety of\nfactors. That being said, your most important priority needs to be protecting\nyour recovery. This means taking care not put yourself in situations where your\nrecovery is likely to be at risk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although no one in recovery is immune to the\npossibility of relapse, those who are new(er) are especially vulnerable.\nTherefore, informing people to whom you are becoming close that you don’t drink\nalcohol or use other drugs—sooner rather than later—will help you avoid many\nrisky situations. Getting involved in or maintaining a close relationship with\nanyone who regularly uses alcohol or other drugs, particularly in your\npresence, places you at considerable risk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may be concerned about how others will react or\njudge you when you share your recovery status. This is natural. Some people do\nnot understand what recovery is. They may ask questions. Occasionally, such\nquestions may be asked provocatively, questioning or even testing your commitment\nto recovery. However, most of the time people ask questions because they\ngenuinely wish to know more. They may want to know why you’ve chosen this\nparticular path because they have questions about their own alcohol or other\ndrug use or are concerned about a family member or friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Increasingly, people in recovery are emerging from\nthe shadows and throwing off the yoke of the stigma long attached to addiction.\nRecovery is becoming more common and accepted in mainstream society. You may be\nsurprised to find that the vast majority of people will respect your recovery\nand accept it without difficulty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In terms of how to tell someone that you’re in\nrecovery, there are several options. Generally, the best approach is to be\ndirect and matter-of-fact: “I’m in recovery.” If you’re in a situation where\ndrinking or drug use is suggested or you’re offered a drink or a joint (or\nsomething else), you can simply say, “No thank you.” If the other person wants\nto know why, you can simply say, “I don’t drink (or smoke pot, or do other\ndrugs).”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other options include: “I’m retired from that area,”\n“I’m allergic to alcohol,” etc., and “I just don’t like it.” However, it’s\nimportant to know that the other person isn’t owed an explanation and offering\none is strictly your choice. Like any other new skill, telling another person\nthat you are in recovery becomes easier and more comfortable with time and\npractice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SOURCES:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
\nhttps:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/intl\/blog\/some-assembly-required\/201705\/what-you-need-know-about-relationships-and-recovery\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

+27 012 345 1186 Pretoria<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

+27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg<\/a><\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Relationships in Recovery Reach out now, we can help Home \/ Relationships in Recovery 07 June, 2019Articles, News Relationships and addiction Living with active addiction creates extraordinary relationship challenges and does considerable damage to significant relationships—with partners, parents, children, other family members, and close friends. When you enter recovery, it’s natural to want to repair […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4578,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36,4,1],"tags":[33,53,68,57,58,25,80,75],"class_list":["post-4148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","category-articles","category-uncategorized","tag-spirituality","tag-12-step","tag-jhb-rehab","tag-johannesburg-rehab","tag-pretoria-rehab","tag-recovery","tag-rehab-12step-spirituality","tag-south-african-rehab","entry"],"featured_image_urls_v2":{"full":["https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/climbing.jpg",960,660,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/climbing-80x80.jpg",80,80,true],"medium":["https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/climbing-300x206.jpg",300,206,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/climbing-768x528.jpg",640,440,true],"large":["https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/climbing.jpg",640,440,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/climbing.jpg",960,660,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/climbing.jpg",960,660,false],"alm-thumbnail":["https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/climbing.jpg",150,103,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/climbing.jpg",960,660,false]},"post_excerpt_stackable_v2":"

Relationships in RecoveryReach out now, we can helpHome \/ Relationships in Recovery07 June, 2019Articles, News Relationships and addiction Living with active addiction creates extraordinary relationship challenges and does considerable damage to significant relationships—with partners, parents, children, other family members, and close friends. When you enter recovery, it’s natural to want to repair this damage as soon as possible, and your impulse might be to try to do just that. However, attempting quick fixes is rarely helpful and almost never works well. Often, it can make things worse. In terms of the relationships you want to improve, how long did it…<\/p>\n","category_list_v2":"News<\/a>, Articles<\/a>, Uncategorized<\/a>","author_info_v2":{"name":"admin","url":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/author\/admin\/"},"comments_num_v2":"0 comments","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4148"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4148\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4578"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ssdev.co.za\/crossroads-old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}